I told Dad that I want to plan an orderly transfer of responsibilities, so I can take over when he can't manage anymore. He's 86 and fine now, so this seemed like a good time to begin. He said, "No one's taking over anything," and flatly refused to give me any documents or information. How can I change his mind?
- Bob, Stuart
You're right about getting started while Dad is well, but your approach could use some polishing. None of us want to transfer power over our lives to someone else. Most of us know we'll need help as we age, but we all want to retain some control. If you really want this to work, your next step is an apology. Explain that you used the wrong words. Let him know that all you want is to be there for him if he gets sick, has an accident, or if he needs help in any way, and you'll be better able to assist him if you know how to quickly find the information you may need. Ask if he will let you help him organize his documents so you'll both know where the information is if you need it. If Dad is still uncomfortable, suggest that he leave the information with an attorney who will release it to you if necessary.
Judie Rappaport, President & Founder
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