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You’re Not Being a Pest!

Judie Rappaport
April 16, 2015

Dear Judie:

We want to help our friend who’s caring for husband but we’re stymied. Can you guide us on how to help without pestering her?

- Nancy, PSL


Dear Nancy,

Keep reading.


Dear Judie:                    

Since Mom (80) went to the hospital two weeks ago, I’ve spent all day and half the night visiting her, talking to doctors, holding her hand, and reassuring her she will recover. The emotional highs (days when Mom makes progress) and lows (when Mom takes a step backwards) are the most frightening, exhausting feelings I’ve ever known. With all this, I recognize how lucky I am to have my daughter and my friends. Next time your readers want to know how they can help a frightened, stressed out caregiver, show them these messages from my friends.  


“Anything you need, anything at all, day or night, 24 hours, just call me. I’ll check tomorrow to see how you’re doing. ”


“Please tell me what I can do to help: I can sit with you, walk the dog, do dishes, anything. Just let me know.”


“I don’t want to push and I won’t take offense if you say no, but I’d be glad to sit with Mom so you can have a break.”


“If there is ANYTHING I can help with, please call me. I just went through this with my husband and know first-hand how tired and stressed you are!!! I can do pets, meals, cleaning, office work, telephone, errands, grocery shopping - anything to take the daily burden and grind off you.”


“If my sitting with you or doing errands will help, please call me.”


“You’re surrounded by friends who love and support you. We’re all here for you. Don’t hesitate to call us.”


Please tell your readers how frightened and alone caregivers feel during times of crisis and there is nothing more important than letting them know they are surrounded by loving, caring friends and family.

- Barbara, Stuart


Dear Barbara:

You’ve just told them. You are fortunate to have so many people who care for you.


I would add one more message to reassure caregivers you aren’t adding to their “to do” lists:

“Don’t worry about calling me back.  I just I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and am I’m here for you.”  


Judie Rappaport, President & Founder
Preferred Lifestyle Services

Trust Yourself. You Have the Knowledge, Insight,
and Power to make the right decisions for you and your parent. ©


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Words of Encouragement for Caregivers

The Value of Respite Care for Exhausted Caregivers

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Caregiver HelpDear Judie